Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear God....

Dear God,

Where are you?  My life seems to be unraveling and I am struggling to see you, to hear you and to feel you.  As you know I am thankful for the gift of today and life I am most thankful for my girls and for my faith tha continues to carry me even though I feel like I am walking alone.  I am tired and the burden is heavy, will you help me carry the load?  Will you help me to see your plan and to carry out your desires?  Will you help me to see what I am to do tomorrow.  The tears have been streaming and although I am hurting it feels good to cry and to have emotions.  I think it is important for my girls to know that it is okay to cry, to feel and to lean on others.  No need to carry the wright of the world on your own like I tend to do often.  What is not okay is to feel the way I have been feeling the last couple of days towards my family who has hurt me and disappointed me but only because of my expectations.   Sometimes, maybe never will I understand the actions of others but I need to let it go.  Sometimes easier said then done.  I will continue to pray, pray for forgiveness for my actions and thoughts towards those I love dearly. 

Tonight I was reading about leaving a legacy when I am gone and investing in people.  I can't think of anything more important and it really does put life into perspective.  It is not about the house, the car, the clothes but about giving which brings me to our challenge of giving the the gift of kindess.

Have you had a good week in finding opportunities? If not are you looking?  Looking in your own home, at work or with people passing you by at your children's school or in the neighborhood?  I will make an extra effort to do some ordinary things but that I know will be appreciated and make others feel good, I wanna feel the JOY inside again.   Although I am frustrated with life and not being able to join her and the rest of my family in VA for our family reunion I do want her to go and have fun as I do with my siblings.

On a separate note, I will call our local homeless shelter with hopes that Demi and I can serve dinner there next week.  I have always thought about this and it looks like this year will be the perfect time for this.  I cant wait!

Today we started our thankful vase with three things we are each thankful for...just a daily reminder for us to do this together as a family as we take in this Thanksgiving season and upcoming Christmas holiday.

So today I am giving my self permission to be human, to hurt, to be thankful and to get excited about what tomorrow will bring.  I believe God's favor will be poured out upon us tomorrow and that with his grace and forgiveness it will be a great day full of RAKS, love and His beauty if I choose to center my life around Him.  Do you want to join me? If you have never given your life to Christ, it is so simple.  ASK Jesus to be your Savior, Believe and Confess your sins.  That is one GIFT you can give yourself and your family.  Please let me know if I can pray for you and if you made a decision tonight so that I can celebrate with you.

Hugs and blessings friends and thanks for letting me speak my true feelings today even though I am not proud of doing things my way this week.  But I know by asking for God's forgiveness I can move on with a fresh start.

PS - Dont forget about the 30 Day Challenges for Attitude of Gratitude and Random Acts of is not too late to start today and you can go back and do the days you missed!!!  Enjoy -


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