I love SONdays and the true meaning of Christmas! Tis the season of MIRACLES and for that I am so thankful for each and every day that I am given. It is a gift that means so much <3
Yesterday's service and the play, The Three Kings was so awesome. (I saw this same play last year and yet it had so much more meaning this year as does every message each SONday). It was not about what gifts they brought for their Savior but what God wanted them to give and what each of them had waited a life time to bring....their hearts, their worship and their lives. It had me thinking today about how I could and want to do all these with intention to fully experience all that God has to offer this holiday season and year to come. I want to build on this year and all that has happened and what has yet to come.
Swithcing gears as I often do. Today I drove my daughter to her Memaw and on the way got upset with my daughter. I want to start by saying that although I live with a thankful heart, I still find days and times when I let the little things bother me when I shouldn't. Why? I don't know but I know in the big scheme of things that they don't really matter after the fact. Today Demi forgot to pack her good boots and yet I was really bothered by this? Then after I got upset, I said to myself does it really matter what shoes she has on? Initially I was upset because I want her to take some responsibility with her things but after thinking about it realized it was more about what I thought she should look like and what I wanted others to see. Great shots with pretty clothes, pretty hair and pretty boots. Really? If this was my last moment with her is this how I would want her to remember me or our last hour together? The answer is NO and then the quilt sets in. I want to do better and really feel bad even going there so now I need her to know that I really could care less if she were barefoot and that I want her to cherish this holiday with her dad's family and to know that I love her no matter what she looks like, what her grades are and all those expectations we have as parents are only because we want them to have and live their best life. Again, I hate that I let any day have moments like this and will continue to work to make our life a carefree, happy and loving home where she knows she is loved because she is a child of God and so very special. My heart knows this but my mind does not always show this in my words and actions. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only mom who has moments like this and am I the only one is messes up. Think....Act...Speak....words of love, affirmation and kindness to the one I love the most. I really do need to lighten up....let her be a kid, let her mess up...let her be with no expectations because I am so blessed to have her and she is always doing her best...afterall most kids want to please adults and their parents with everything they do. I don't want a perfect child, I want a happy, loving, giving, well rounded child who speaks the same words she sees her mom saying. Do the things you want your kids to do and say the things you want your kids to say and let them know you are NOT perfect and mess up. Live the life you want your kids to model! Great advice but not always easy. I do think that this can be made easier by having a support group and friends who share similiar values and beliefs.
Why do women carry the weight of the world on themselves and why do we expect so much from ourselves...why are we so hard on ourselves? I WILL DO BETTER BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER!!
If you haven't notice with my blog, I blog about life and often use this forum to figure things out in my mind and heart. It helps to write...to think...to read!
I want to live and be the best Christian, Mom, daughter, aunt, friend, teacher and woman I can be NOW, in this moment and this day. This very thing can often get lost in going through the motions in the every day because our days are filled with so many things to do. As I single mom, I start the day running and end the race glad to have had another day. What did I miss that I could have done better and are there days that go by that I could have gotten more done. Did my day count for something good and did I make a difference? Did I do the best I could?
My word for 2010 was BEST. I love where my journey has taken me and am excited about what God has in store for me in the days, months and year to come.
So as I contemplate my word for 2011, I know I want to live INTENTIONally with a purpose in this moment and this life. So much to do....HOPES and DREAMS to create and live a life that when is done, God says well done child. I want to write my bucket list and goals for the upcoming year. I want to get even more excited about life. I am thankful for everyday but that just isn't enough. I want to share and live a life with my 10 year old angel that says ANYTHING and EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE and DREAMS DO COME TRUE...YOU MUST BELIEVE IT. IT IS NOT WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST BUT WHAT YOU MAKE OF WHAT YOU HAVE TODAY. I honestly feel like we can teach our children valuable life lessons by how we react to our challenges more than ever. I have never been much for changes but we will loose our home after the first of the year. At first my pride was hurt, I was upset for letting myself get in this situation but I also know that I can teach my daughter that I will and can bounce back and have a life far better and richer. A home is not the walls we live in but the love that is on the inside and the memories we create. It doesn't really matter where we live but how we live and love others and we can do that from anywhere. Easy, no, but life is not always easy and we will be stronger together for surviving this and for allowing God to open new doors and a new life, one that is even better than we could ever imagine. Sometimes doors need to close in order for God to open other doors and so I say, good bye 2010 and hello 2011. I am ready to experience the JOY of giving and serving while loving and living the life God intended me to this day and those to come should I be blessed with the gift of life.
PS - I am on my way to visit some blogs that I enjoy and find uplifting...there are so many wonderful women in this world wanting to make a difference and are living with intention in wanting others to know they are not alone such as Melody Ross at The Brave Girls Club and 29DaysofGiving. Thank you to you both for opening your lives and stories and for wanting to give back so that others would know it is not our circumstances that define who we are but how we deal with those challenges and struggles.
Happy Holidays and a Happy Monday to you whereever you are in life....if you are dealing with challenges I hope you know that God loves you and you have a friend here if you need to talk! A bit of advice and something I love doing...if you will take the time to say one kind thing to someone, do one kind thing for someone else, you will find a bit of happiness that will start to put a sparkle back in your heart It truly does feel so good to do something for someone else and as I always say you never know when your smile or kind gesture will give someone else the HOPE they sop desparately need to keep going. It only takes on person to change the world as does one penny.